I'm back, with MUSICAL INSANITY!!!!!!!! (my subpar TENTH post)

Mwa ha ha ha ha!

I'm back, in memetastic, random glory!

Greetings, loyal readers, to a long overdue blog! Today we will deal with musical insanity, in all of it's glory! Be forewarned: all the following videos are incredibly brainless, except for the last one, which is a masterpiece of culture and screeching.

Flying, squazzils!

For some reason the above video makes me feel strangely patriotic. Sadly, I have no idea what country I'm feeling patriotic to. No matter, I'll just go with what my heart tells me. All hail glorious motherland!

So... Are you ready to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Are you? Well, this isn't it, but it's pretty close.

Pa pa pa pa, pa pa poker face. <SHUT UP!>

Kudos if you heard Smosh in my first comment.

So... Did you watch the whole thing? I didn't think so. Anyways, after three videos of complete internet drivel I've decided to show you something... Truly amazing. For those of you with short attention spans, skip ahead to 0:52.

What did I tell you? Amazing, right?

or

Draco Malfoy's secret hobby

or

Cthulhu, RISE!

Oh, the things I could say about this opera star. A.) He is amazing. B.) I absolutely LOVE the whole "Lovecraft-style cult" aesthetic he has going on. Hooded musicians, writhing back-up dancers, extremely creepy smiles, I'm telling you, this guy is the next L. Ron Hubbard.

<This is the end of my tenth post. TEN! I've done TEN!>

<But I'm running out of talent so from now on I'll only release blogs when I feel like it>

<Sorry.>

(my ninth post)

Oh. Hi there. Ya... I don't wanna do a blog today...

Oh, I might as well.

Greetings loyal readers! Welcome to my ninth post!

Today I have decide to go themeless, and post the most random stuff I can find! That's right folks: a whole blog of pointless nonsense! Let the Nyan Cat commence!

                     Your brain is miiiiiiiiiine!

Indeed, the madness of this blog shall be unmatched, like the death throws of a celebrity realizing his 15 minutes of fame are over! oooooooveeeeeeeeeeeer!
But on a more serious note: Never divide by zero. I'm serious. Dividing by zero will cause the world to end.

What did I tell you?
Anyways, the random must continue! Forever! BRING ON THE BRAN FLAKES!!!!

                            Terror, incarnate.
                           She is watching you

                       But wait! There's more!

du du du dudu...
And with that, I end this pointless blog.

<This is the end of my ninth blog.>
<I know, I know, it sucked... Next one will be better, I promise.>
<Sadly, from now on I will only release one blog per week.>
<See you next time!>

Troll 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my eighth post)

For your consideration: Troll 2 (It gets really good at 3:34)

Hello loyal readers, and welcome to my Halloween special! Today I will be showing you clips from the 90's cult classic horror film Troll 2, and then explaining them! The plot of Troll 2, or T2, as I shall refer to it from now on, is that a young boy- wait. I can not call it T2 with a clear conscience. As I was saying, the plot of Troll 2 is that a young boy and his family go on a "vacation" to Nilbog, a small town which is actually a kingdom of vegetarian Goblins, where they meet some strange people.

Hm... Maybe something hidden in "Nilbog" will expose why everyone is so strange! 

Na, no one would pitch an idea that dull.

Oh wait. Apparently they would.

 The evil villagers then try to trick the ill-fated and foolish adults into eating magical food that turns them into vegetables, and it is up to the one child, and the ghost of his grandfather, to stop his parents before they consume the tainted food the villagers gave them. Thusly, using all the brain-power he can muster, this happens:

Sadly for the main characters everything quickly gets much worse, as one poor unnamed women finds out when she and her injured boyfriend seek help in a druid-queens house.

 

This has become a viral video.

Eventually the adults catch on, and it becomes a life-and-death struggle to avoid being turned into vegetables or drowned in popcorn in this small-town nightmare! 

Right after the "teenage daughter" character busts some sweet moves, of course.

Mind=exploded

<This is the end of the Halloween special. However, for your enjoyment, I will tack on this completely unrelated ad for "Jason X">

That was a real ad, for a real movie. Don't believe me? IMDB it.

<Happy Halloween!>

<This is the real end of the Halloween special.>

Really Old Movies! And Dead People! (my seventh post)

Greetings, loyal readers! Today I will share with you that which is fascinating, slightly disturbing, and really, really cool! I am talking, of course, about videos of dead people old films from before 1900! Observe the wonderfulness: 

 My favorite part is when they are exiting the factory.

In case you were wondering, that really is an old film from 1895, showing a glorious glimpse into the culture and fashion of the working class! However, the really interesting thing about this movie is that it is the first film ever to be projected to a paying audience. Yes folks, this 47 second clip of people leaving a factory is what we have to thank for all movies and television anywhere, from "Casablanca" to "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" from  From "Saw" to "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" from "The Wizard of Oz" to "Beyond the Valley of the Ultra Milkmaids" (do not Google that if you want to keep your sanity.)

This is all well and good, you knowing the first commercially released film and all, but what about the first film ever made?

 

Sublime acting, stirring plot, gorgious set design, five stars out of five

-Random Movie Critic

That's right folks, that 2 second clip was the first movie ever made. I actually love this move, what with the amazing clothing and all. It makes me really wonder who these people were, and if they ever got the recognition they deserved.

I find oldtimey videos to be endlessly fascinating, and so I present you three more clips, the first being 2 possibly fake minutes of the RMS Titanic. I really hope this is real, because I really, really want to say that I saw the titanic.

Faaaaaaaake! You can clearly see people walking, and 

everybody knows that legs weren't invented until 1917! Faaaaake!

This next clip is not really a clip at all, but an experimental photography technique by French photographer Léon-Alexandre Cànular. It predates the 2-second garden thing, but for some reason does not count as a movie. Still, it has immense historical value due to the nature of the content included.

That's right folks: The south shall rise again!

This last clip goes a little over the 1900 limit, being shot in 1904, but it is so incredibly fascinating that I had to include it anyways. Please note that the music and watermark were added at a much later date by vile, vandalizing, "restoration" trolls. The film was shot for and by Australians that wanted to see "The Most Exciting City on Earth," also known as London.

Mustache! Train! Will the epic win ever stop epically winning?

How do I love thee, video of old London town? Let me count the ways:

- Disdainful look women! 0:07

- Amazing Victorian kid! 0:20

- Street urchins! 0:24

- Dancing! 0:27

- Mustache! 0:39

- MUSTACHE! 0:42

- Hats! 0:48

- TRAIIIIIIIN!!!!! 0:59

 

Cornelius Vanderbilt's Anthem.

Sheldon Cooper's Anthem.

My Anthem.

Your Anthem?

<This is the end of this blog. Tune in next time for more entertainment>

<Oh, hey, you do realize that all the people you just saw are dead, right?>

<Discounting, of course, the I Like Trains kid>

The Promised Propaganda Post (Apparently I really like Canada. And Putin.) (My sixth post)

Greetings loyal readers comrades! Today I will be sharing hilarious glorious 
propaganda!

Lets go... Canada!

That wonderful gem of a poster is, I think, a world war II poster asking Canadians to join up with the British in order to fight the Germans. Of course, in the end it looks less like a stirring recruitment poster and more like a slightly terrified Canadian has fallen into a poorly translated Japanese kid's show, and is gawking in terror and amazement at the wondrous things that he is seeing!

Mud puddle say what?

(In all honesty, I would gladly join the Canadian army if it meant I got to visit wonderlands like this.)

One  can easily see the poor Canadian in the above poster in such a world, a world of tormented leafs and sentient mud puddles. However, the question is: what is he scared of most? I think it is that horror-movie green ostrich at 1:55, with her endless dirge, "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilk... Get your fresh miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilk and coffee."

Idle fangs are the Hun's workshop. 

This is it! Inescapable proof that Canadian-mocking has been a legitimate pastime since WWI! I love how feel slightly offended for the sake of our glorious Canadian brothers this poster because this poster treats Canadians like America's little brother. When I look at this poster all I see is; "Let's buy 'Victory Bonds' in order to keep those mischievous little Canadians busy and out of trouble!" 

 

I love you Ike Broflovski!

I love you Canada! 

Rock on!

Honk! 

---

I found this amazing poster while wandering around aimlessly on the internets. I have no idea what  the poster says, it could be terrible, but I have an inexplicable urge to be silent. I think that they should hang this poster in all the libraries in the world. It would be super effective.

MAKE 

ALL

THE

NOISE

!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!! 

   

                       Shh!

I really think that Russians make the best propaganda. Russian propaganda is amazing! The stark reds, the off white creams, the gold. I love Russian propaganda. Of course, with the fall of the USSR, the propaganda industry in Russia has taken a sharp downturn. Luckily for border-line punks and faux anarchists everywhere wonderful propaganda still issues forth from that icy motherland! Sadly for border-line punks and faux anarchists this new propaganda is... different then the cold war's posters. Are you ready for this, America? Are you ready to see that which is new? You may think you are ready, but nothing can prepare you for the Russian madness that is coming next:

Yes! Yes! Yes! He must be like Putin! He must! 

  

You see, this is what Obama is doing wrong. All Obama needs is a pare of pop stars to write a song glorifying him and turning him into a hyper-sexual alpah-male. I mean, really! This video is amazing! I am completely convinced that Vladimir Putin an amazing Russian Chuck Norris! Seriously! That smirk, that wink at1:37! He knows he's the best! He just, just winks! Like a school boy! He's chillin' with the Queen at 2:40! He's all like, "Yo, Queen! Love the dress!" And the bro shake! THE BRO SHAKE!!!! At 3:04 he's all like fist bumping and stuff! Obama never fist bumps! Well... Okay... Obama fist bumps all the time. But not like Putin! Obama's not like Putin at all! I want the presedent to be... Someone like Putin! Someone like Putin, full of strength, Someone like Putin, who doesn't drink, Someone like Putin, who doesn't hurt me, Someone like Putin, who won't run away. (All you trolls out there: I'm being sarcastic. I think.) 

Let's look at some pictures to illustrate Putin's supremacy.

"Someday girls are going to tear their shirts off for me. What, don't believe me? Look up "Putin's Army."

Good gracious, he even knew he was the bomb before he was ever the leader of Russia!

And just for comparison's sake, this is the American president:

Aww, Look at the little president! So Cute!

And this is the President we had before Obama:

"can i haz cheezburger plz?"

"No, you may not have a cheese-burger." 

 Disapproving Putin disapproves of silly American presidents.

Disapproving Putin disapproves of silly American memes.

 Disapproving Putin disapproves of you.

 Disapproving Putin is to cool for you.

And you will do anything

to make him

like you.

Because you want to hang out with the cool kids.

<This is the end of the propaganda blog- Oh wait, Putin wants to tell you something>

"Oh, I'm just messing with you. You can play with me!"

<This is the real end of the propaganda blog>

 

What do Adele, Guns 'n Roses, Run DMC, The Gorillaz, The Cure, The Beatles, The Eurythmics, Queen and Daft Punk Have In Commen? (M-Blog part 2) (My fifth post! It's like a milestone!)

Welcome, loyal readers, to M-Blog part 2! Much like Kill Bill, M-Blog has only two parts, and the second part is less flashy and wild then the first part. However, it is better. What follows will be a simple run-through of six amazing mash-ups that I have found on the you tube, before the finale, epic, ending mash-up! The following mash-ups are simpler then the huge mashups of the last post, but I think you will like them more. First up: A modern hit and an old classic, together at last:

That mashup was so amazing that it made my brain hurt! I don't, I don't even know if I can get a better mashup then that. Oh wait, this one is pretty amazing:

If you didn't like that then you are not a human being.

But, just in case, I will quickly follow up with an even better mashup:

Okay, forget about ever having a favorite song ever again. That was the absolute best thing you have ever heard, and you know it.

Oh hey, It's Guns 'n Roses again. And Adele. Interesting... Why is her voice so echoey? This isn't very good, (and then, at 0:31) wait, what's that? (and then at the 0:36 mark)  Hey, this is kind of good!

(and then from 1:20 onward)OH-MY-GOODNESS-THIS-IS-THE-BEST-THING-I-HAVE-EVER-HEARD!!!!!!

I don't think I can get much better then that last video, so lets slow it down with The Gorillaz/The Cure

 That was pretty good, not the best, but still good. 

But now, folks, the moment you have all been waiting for, and the absolute best mashup yet:

I present :

The Beatles ft. Daft Punk!!!

I'm sure that you are wondering why I chose this song as the best. Well, I will explain it to you. I think that Eleanoround the World is better then all the others because of it's simplicity. It really sounds like a song, and that is saying something. It may lack the power of Adele, or the energy of Queen, or the sheer coolness of the Eurythmics, but all in all I think that this is the best. Much like the final, underwhelming battle with Bill, Eleanoround the World gets better when you think about it later.

<This is the end of M-Blog part 2>

<Tune in next time for propaganda!>

<see you then, comrade>

<aaroundtheworldaroundtheworldaroundtheworldaroundtheworldraroundtheworldaroundtheworldound>

Massive Mainstream Mashup Masterpieces+A Muddled March Down Memory Lane (M-Blog part 1) (My fourth post)

Hello loyal readers! Today I'm doing something a little different, and showing you mainstream club songs mashed up into soulless, wonderful, pop monstrosities. If you are to much of a hipster to tolerate radio friendly drivel then, by all means, move on to my next post. But if you want to hear things you've heard a million times in a new, fresh way then stay. If you have not already deduced, I am making this blog about mash-ups, which I love. Mash-ups, for those of you who don't know (if such a person exists), are songs that have been mashed together. Like pataters. (That means Solanum tuberosum for those of you who don't speak bad southern accent.) There will be three videos in this post, all of them amazing. The first two are from D.J. Earworm's "United States of Pop" product line, and are actually quite famous. However, chances are you have never actually watched them. The "United States of Pop" videos take all the hit (American) songs from a single year and mash them together. They actually go all the way back to 2007, but tonight I'll only show you the videos for 2009 and 2010, because I like those the most. Without further ado: Songs from 2009 that you have *finally* forgotten forced back into your brain!

One really cool thing about these videos is that you get to see the trends that dominated the music industry in the year the video was made for. For example: People really liked the word "down" in 2009. Another cool thing is that this was the year Lady Gaga got famous. It's weird because it seems like she's been around a lot longer then three years. (Although one could argue that she's been around since October 6, 1982, am I right "Everybody?" (if you got that joke I applaud you)) Anyways, all borderline-funny jokes aside, it's time now for songs from 2010 that you are *just starting* to forget!

I like 2010 a lot more then 2009. I think that the songs are just better! (Notice how I said "think." No reason to troll me, trolls.) We have Bruno Mars, "California Girls," that Travie McCoy guy who seemed to vanish after the masterpiece "Billionaire" took the world by storm, there were so many amazing songs and artists from 2010! Of course, 2010 also had that "Need You Now" song, which is quite possibly the worst song ever. (Discounting "Monster" of course.)

I Could have ended this post right hear, but two videos seems like to ("two") little entertainment. Therefore I give you this: Two amazing masterpieces of  mashups that, sadly, have no videos, hence the whole "tacked-on-at-the-end" thing. (The second mashup has the f-word, so watch at your own discretion.)

<This is the end of m-blog part 1>
<Next up: M-Blog part 2>